Race and Gender on the page and in the movies

19 08 2007

Sometimes I forget that there’s more to the internet than music downloads and celebrity gossip and, no, I’m not talking about naughty pictures of barnyard animals – I never forget about those. What I am talking about is a provocative discussion on race and gender in the publishing word (which got me thinking about race and gender in the movie world, but more on that later).

Apparently I confused myself whilst looking for a race-related picture

I first saw this discussion at the always fascinating Fantasy & Sci-Fi Lovin’ Blog although it was author David Anthony Durham who initially challenged readers to think about how their choice of reading material is directly shaped by publisher’s and bookseller’s categorization of an author’s race (and, presumably, gender).

If you think about it, just about any business will make use of people’s race and gender if it means making more money. Take television. Back in college I took a communications course that broke down the demographics of the actors and actresses on television shows.

One study on American television programming revealed that there were a disproportionately high number of men on screen compared to women. And of the female actresses, a disproportionate amount were younger women while the men on television had a wider distribution of ages. And it probably goes without saying that racial minorities were also underrepresented.

Think about that for a second. In the television industry, men are more likely to be hired for roles than women and younger women are more likely to be hired than older women. And good luck if you’re an aspiring actress who’s both female and a minority.

Now this kind of discrimination may not be news to you, but, just as in the literary world, it’s largely shaped by consumers’ choices.

You could argue till the U.S. Army withdraws from Iraq whether it’s the network executives or the viewing public who are responsible for the hiring bias towards television actors and actresses, but the bottom line is that networks are only interested in making money and that means airing shows that people will watch. And whether it’s intentional or not, people are watching shows that under represent women and minorities.

Now you might be wondering where I’m going with all of this. As it turns out, I’m hoping to use this discussion to win an argument I’m having with my dad.

But before I get to the argument, I’m going to assume that all of the results from the television study can be applied to the movie industry as well. It might be a bit of a stretch, but I’ll do a quick analysis of the current top ten movies (through the week of August 10th, 2007) and each film’s top one or two lead actors and actresses to see if my shapely-gut-instinct is correct.

From Rush Hour 3 (number 1) to Daddy Day Camp (number 10) there are roughly fourteen “leads.” Eleven of the fourteen leads are men (or male voice actors). None of the female leads are older than Catherine Zeta-Jones (37) and only four of the fourteen leads are racial minorities (that’s including Catherine Zeta-Jones). And if we use our “lead” role here as a sample for the general population of movie actors and actresses then our results seems pretty consistent with television standards.

You’re a lucky man Michael Douglas. Lucky I don’t seduce your wife.

Now on to my bitch fight argument with my dad.

Not too long ago my dad told me how he was disappointed to see Marisa Tomei playing William H. Macy’s significant other in the “comedy” Wild Hogs. My dad reasoned that a role opposite an older, relatively “fugly” man signaled the end of Ms. Tomei’s acting career.

Basically, he and I are in agreement that Marisa Tomei will have a difficult time getting future work. But we disagree on the reasons behind the difficulty.

My dad believes that Marisa Tomei’s career up until now has been based on her looks (in addition to the requisite modicum of acting ability) and that her career will end when she is no longer appropriately attractive/desirable. Simply put, when she is no longer pretty, she will no longer work. Being cast as the love interest for an unattractive man (William H. Macy) therefore implies that Ms. Tomei herself is no longer an attractive actress and that her career will soon end.

Those leather pants have seen better days

My argument is that the success of Marisa Tomei’s future career is dependent on more than just her ability to look good. Going back to our understanding of acting gigs in movies, it’s possible to see that Marisa Tomei (and female actresses in general) struggles under a significant handicap. Remember how there are fewer roles for women than men? This means that, through no fault of her own, Ms. Tomei is less likely to find work than a comparatively talented male actor.

(Obviously we’re speaking in generalities here and even though Marisa Tomei is the subject of our debate, her name is being used to represent any attractive woman who continues to work as a professional actress beyond her early youth.)

Okay, I’m pretty certain I’ve gone on longer than is healthy, so now I’ll give the floor to you guys.

What I’d like to hear from you all is what you think on the matter. Am I full of hot air? Is my dad not seeing the big picture? Are we both missing the point completely?

Please share your thoughts so I can rest my poor aching head.





For a moment there, I thought we were in trouble M…

30 11 2006
For a moment there, I thought we were in trouble
Memorable Movie Endings
A couple months ago, a friend and I were crammed into a booth on an overnight train ride through the Thailand countryside. To take our minds off our atrophying buttocks we started talking. Since I was part of the conversation, the topic, naturally, was about movies.

We tried to make a list of the most memorable movie endings we had ever seen. This was a surprisingly difficult task since good movies frequently have forgettable endings. For example, I really liked Trading Places with Eddie Murphy (back when he was funny) and Dan Akroyd (back when he was working). Great setup, super cast, but what happened at the end? I’m not talking about a general, “Eddie and Danny tricked the two brothers and now they’re rich, blah, blah, blah.” I mean specifically, what exactly happened? I don’t remember and chances are you don’t either.

By definition, a memorable movie ending is one that you can think of off the top of your head; it could be clever, unexpected, appropriate, or even depressing as hell but one that stayed with you well after the credits.

Here are a few movie endings that have stayed with me, and I invite you to share your own.

Spoilers lurk below

Usual Suspects – You can argue all day whether or not everything in Usual Suspects made “sense,” but you can’t deny that Kevin Spacey’s final exit was very, very cool. The finishing touch was when the too-smug Chazz Palminteri was left standing on the curb completely clueless and outclassed.

American History X – This was a dark, gritty film that was on the cusp of becoming sentimental before it took a loaded gun and shot it’s way into this list. The senselessness of the final scene reopened all those emotional wounds gouged in by the film’s previous acts.

An alternate ending had Charlton Heston come down with a severe case of “Jungle Fever”

Planet of the Apes – I already knew how this one ended before I pressed Play, and I was still surprised. By the way, if you think I’m referring to the 2001 version with Mark Wahlberg then you have just suffered a recent head trauma and require immediate medical attention.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid – This movie had all kinds of excellent in it: great cast, great plot, and memorable characters that stayed true to their doomed-gunslinger persona right up until the very last frame.

If you squint really hard you can kind of see Thelma & Louise
hanging out with a pack of vultures

Thelma & Louise – I’ll confess that I haven’t seen this entire movie. I know there’s some gun shooting and some half naked Brad Pitt in there, but fifteen years later, the ending remains so memorable that it’s become a cliché (Wayne’s World 2, anybody?). It’s also very much like an updated version of the Butch Cassidy ending, but still memorable for all of that.

Brazil – Odd, odd film. I’d like to take some props because I actually saw this one coming; as strange as Brazil was, I knew there was no way Jonathon Pryce was going to get off that well.

For some reason, my memorable endings lean on the dark and tragic side (perhaps it’s a reflection of my tragic love for dairy products?). Please share the movie endings that have stuck with you and maybe we’ll learn about you in the process.





The Spoon accepts Bestest Blog of the Day honors w…

17 11 2006
The Spoon accepts Bestest Blog of the Day honors with open arms and a nearly fresh tooshie

My new best friend Jessie (!) from Who Are We was kind enough to name The Spoon as The Bestest Blog of the Day over at The Bestest Blog of All Time! I’d like to be humble and say that it’s an honor just to be nominated, but really, I’ve been coveting this award like it was my neighbor’s wife, and not the homely one either.

You’re probably wondering what the heck you’re doing here, so let me give you a snippet about myself and The Spoon.

Reviews are kind of my “thing.” Some people like to fight chickens and others sniff glue – I happen to like watching and talking about movies. If you also like talking about movies then this is probably a good spot for you to hang out.

I only have a few creative thoughts a day so my posts tend to be the every-other-day variety. And as much as I like to hear my own voice (or read my own words… or whatever), I try not to subject my captive readers to the disturbing details of my latest cheese grating accident or bowel movement (although they do sometimes slip out in a manner of speaking).

Now that we’re acquainted I’d like to ask for your help

You see, my movie rating system has been completely lacking in consistency and panache. Below are some rating systems I’m considering using and I’d greatly appreciate it if you could comment on which ones you like, which ones you hate, and what sexy clothing you’re currently wearing.

Feel free to also suggest your own rating systems.

Rating system candidates:

1) The Five Star system – Every movie gets a one to five star rating, one star being hideous and five stars being excellent. Very vanilla.

2) The One Star system – Excellent movies get a full star while less than perfect movies get a fraction. For example, Stranger than Fiction would get 8/11ths of a star. Slightly less vanilla.

3) The Steetlight system – Movies get a green for “go see this,” yellow for “proceed with caution” and red for “less fun than a twelve car pile up.”

4) The Strange Analogy system – I’ll compare the movie watching experience with a descriptive analogy. For example, “Watching Lucky Number Slevin is a lot like eating an entire bag of Doritos in one sitting. At times the flavor is sharp and tasty, but after a while you feel bloated and painfully aware that a bag of Doritos is not a true meal.”

5) The Beatles system – The highest rating is a “John,” followed by a “Paul,” then a “George,” and pulling up the rear is a “Ringo.”

Running with Scissors would get a “Ringo”

Reader submissions are encouraged.





Lock the doors and turn on the lights cause it’s g…

7 11 2006
Lock the doors and turn on the lights cause it’s gettin’ all creepy up in here
5 Creepy Movie Moments

As I lay in bed last night waiting for sweet, sweet slumber to overtake me, rotting zombies burst into my room to tear off my tender and juicy flesh. Fortunately, my quick reflexes shot me out of bed and in front of the light switch just in time to realize that I was crazy and hallucinating.

I wish I could say this was a one-time event, but my bad dreams and hallucinations are happening more and more frequently. And it’s all part of a vicious cycle because once awake, my crazy little brain can’t stop thinking about other creepy visions. The only way I was able to sleep last night was by rubbing my Buddha and Steve Young statues for reassurance and playing video games until I passed out. But today I’m going to exorcise my demons by listing some of the creepiest moments in movies (and no, I can’t explain why this helps). As in life, creepiness is most potent when it’s not expected, so I’m choosing moments that aren’t from true horror films (like The Exorcist or The Shining).

If you’re a fraidy cat like me I don’t suggest reading this list in the dark, but if you do want to get freaked out, I recommend watching these movies locked in a dark room with a convicted mental patient/murderer.

Mulholland Dr.

Like many David Lynch flicks, this whole movie reeks of the “creepy.” I’m still not certain if I understand what actually happens, but Mulholland Dr. is chock full of moments that paralyzed my body with dread, anxiousness, and :-0. In fact, I can’t settle on a single moment from this movie so I’m picking two scenes that weird-ed me out. The first creepy scene is when the waitress (played by Naomi Watts) investigates the alley behind her restaurant. It sounds innocent enough, but it’s not. The music, timing, and acting make it scary as hell and fearsome beyond my descriptive abilities. The second moment is when the leads (Naomi Watts and Laura Harring) investigate a dead body. I dare you to watch it without wearing Depends.It’s been long enough since I’ve seen this movie that many of the details escape me, but the creepiness factor remains as strong as ever.

Could you please pass the popcorn?

Donnie Darko
I can’t look at Jake Gyllenhaal without thinking of this movie (or Bubble Boy for that matter). Donnie is less creepy overall than Mulholland Dr., but whenever Frank the Rabbit gets on the screen I’m ready to change my boxers. Lots of movies use innocence in the face of terror to mess with your head (like The Others, Signs, The Exorcist), but taking a bunny and making it so freaking horrifying that it haunts your dreams – that’s brilliant. I should add that Frank the Bunny has made more than one appearance in my nightmares, stupid fricking rabbit.

I need a hug… and maybe a Long Island Iced Tea

The Sixth Sense
Dead people are creepy, yes, but that’s not the reason I’m including The Sixth Sense in my list. My scary radar shot up in that one scene where Haley Joel Osmont (in his pre-drunkard days) is at a birthday party and hears a dead guy calling to him. As he slowly makes his way up the stairs to the dead guy (anticipation growing with each step), the voice grows louder and angrier. By the time Haley gets outside of the room with the voice, the dead guy is loud and disturbing in the worst possible way. That’s when a couple evil children grab Haley and lock him in the room. I guess I’d start drinking too if that happened to me.

Thriller
Laugh if you want, but the Thriller video is more than a little spooky. Even though I really like the music and even the dancing, it’s MJ himself that’s the creep in question. If you recall the ending, the evil MJ-zombie is right about to get the girl when she wakes up and the almost-human version (the African American to Caucasian morph is only partway finished) is there instead. Then the almost-human MJ turns to the camera and his evil, yellow cat eyes send voodoo darts straight directly at you. That’s freaky as hell and the freeze frame on his face prolongs the heebeejeebie attack. Damn you MJ. Damn you and your fake nose and your freaky cat-eyes.

Blair Witch Project
You could argue that the Blair Witch Project was a true horror film and therefore doesn’t belong on this list. My counter argument is that my friends used a successful campaign of lies and deceit to trick me into believing this movie was real-life recovered footage and not actually a movie at all. I believed everthing was real, straight up to the horrifying finale. To this day I don’t understand what happened in that final scene where the girl rushes into the room and sees the dude staring blankly in the corner before they both “die.” If you know what happened or have a theory, please post it, because not knowing is putting a crimp in my soiled jockeys.

There’s my list and I invite you to share any movie moments that creep you out. Maybe the sharing will be cathartic and maybe not, but at the very least somebody will have an excellent list of scary movies to watch. In the meantime I think I’ll go rub my Buddha and Steve Young statues.





Notable Shower Moments I do my best to get to th…

19 10 2006
Notable Shower Moments

I do my best to get to the gym on a semi-regular basis (read: whenever I can drag someone else along with me) and try as I might, there are still a few things that make me squirm. Some of them are small peeves, like when a woman hops onto a bike next to you and proceeds to chat on her phone for the next FORTY MINUTES (on second thought, maybe this isn’t such a small thing). Also, people who prevent you from using a machine because of their excessively long breaks or fairly short naps. But these are simply things you get used to or so I’m told. One thing I refuse to get used to, however, is seeing a grown man’s penis swinging in my direction. Yesterday I took a quick step into the gym locker/shower/bathroom to relieve myself and was immediately confronted with some perky male genitalia. In honor of this bathroom moment I’ve decided to compile a list of other notable movie moments taking place between multiple people in the shower. Don’t ask why, just enjoy.

Maverick butts heads with Iceman

1. Top Gun
If my memory has decided to play nice today, there were actually a couple notable shower scenes in Top Gun. I’m pretty certain that there was a gratuitous Tom Cruise shower scene after the equally gratuitous beach volleyball scene. But the shower moment that stands out to me was when Maverick was talking to Iceman and then turns to the wall, pausing for a good five seconds so the image of his towel-sheathed butt could be forever imprinted in the minds of impressionable boys throughout the land. And in case you were wondering, yes, I am straight.

2. Starship Troopers
The shower scene in Starship Troopers truly reflects the surprise I felt at seeing another man’s package. I really don’t remember the scene’s context, but I think the new army recruits are showering off after some kind of training exercise and then bam – glistening naked boobies pounce onto the screen. These were probably the first on-screen breasts I really remember seeing and they certainly left their mark. Hopefully this one balances out the Tom Cruise butt moment.

Trust me, you don’t want to see any more than this

3. Any Given Sunday
Any Given Sunday is one of those movies where I feel like I’ve seen it all even though I’ve only watched it piecemeal for like half an hour. I managed to see it’s notable shower scene when, in a moment of perfect cosmic timing, I surfed from Comedy Central straight into a large black man’s toodley-doo (penis). On a related note, I wonder how you prepare to get naked in a huge production movie like Any Given Sunday. I guess you’d first make sure your underbits get all spiffied up with maybe some lotion or Banaca. Then you’d get the production crew to turn the temperature up and ogle the newspaper’s brassiere ads like in There Something About Mary (also starring Cameron Diaz, incidentally).

4. Weird Science
I always enjoyed the television series version more than the movie version. I think it boils down to Vanessa Angel being more likeable and attractive than Kelly LeBrock (also, she was married to Steven Seagal – the baby seal clubber himself! (warning: Family Guy joke)). In the movie version, the young and funny Anthony Michael Hall and “the other guy” (who had some weird mole I didn’t like either) took a shower with Kelly. I can understand the anxiety that drove them to remain clothed while she was not, but that doesn’t explain why they were practically hugging each other. I guess some things just can’t be explained.

5. Half-Baked
I can’t believe I almost forgot this legendary movie. Of all the flicks on this list, only Half-Baked is a must watch. It’s got stoner humor, great prison humor (is there any other kind?), and let’s not forget a small time comedian named Dave Chappelle. Highlights of Half-Baked’s shower scene include a dropped soap and a convict by the name of Nasty Nate who sported a “naughty, evil jungle of love (a reference I still use to this day).”